The Dorks
by HoneyBeeez
Summary: Jack and Helen (otherwise known as Hiccup) have been best friends since practically forever, but they've been drifting apart lately. Why is that? Well, because of Jack's girlfriend, Elsa. Songs are sung, things are overheard, and problems are solved. How? Read on, my good person! Fem!Hiccup, Hijack, High School AU. M for the language (of the song)


**Hey guys! I'm sorry, school really sucks, but here's a little thing I wrote for Overland Haddock a while ago!**

* * *

"Hiccup!" Jack called, running up to his best friend. Helen rolled her eyes at the stupid nickname and waited for him to catch up with her. "How's it going?" He asked, not even out of breath.

"Pretty good, I guess," Helen said. "You?"

"Alright," Jack replied. "North was flipping out yesterday." Helen's eyes widened, wondering why his adopted father would have gotten so angry, Then she remembered the situation, and started to laugh.

"Aw, man, that's right!" She exclaimed, slapping her forehead. "I told you, I really am sorry that I couldn't be able to make it yesterday," She was getting progressively good at lying. Yesterday, Jack had a little party at his house, and she was one of the few people that was invited. It was small, nothing to big; just him, his sister, his dad, her, and. Jack's girlfriend, Elsa.

"You really stink at lying," Jack said, pointing out her lie like a fish out of water. "You don't think I know why you didn't come?" He questioned. Helen look away from him.

"It's not you…" She trailed off. "I just really don't like-"

"Hey Jack~" Someone sang, running towards the two. She was pale and had blue eyes and white hair, just like Jack, and she was dressed in a power-blue dress that brushed the floor. Her hair was pulling back into a French braid. Helen had to stop herself from groaning. It was Elsa Arendelle. She threw herself into Jack's arms, smashing their lips together unceremoniously. Jack responded to the kiss, but apparently not as enthusiastic as she would have liked.

"Hey, babe," Jack said, letting her go.

"So, are you going over to my house tonight?" Elsa questioned. "My parents are away from my cousin's wedding," She explained suggestively. Helen blushed, and started to back away from the two.

"Uh. I'll talk to you later, Jack," She said quietly, slipping off to go to class. Jack frowned as she left.

"Um. Actually, North needs me to watch my sister tonight, so," Jack said. Elsa scoffed playfully.

"Come on," She whined. "Little Emily is a good girl. She can take care of herself for a night," Elsa wrapped her arms around Jack's neck and kissed him again. Jack broke the kiss quickly, just as the bell rang.

"No. And it's not Emily. Her name's Emma. I've got to go," Jack said, quickly walking away and disappearing into his classroom.

* * *

Jack was severely confused at the moment, so much so that he barely paid any attention to his first class. When Hiccup left, it was like something broke inside him. They've been friends ever since Jack moved to Berk in the second grade, but he never really thought about her romantically. He knew that she didn't like Elsa, his girlfriend for the past two years, though she never really gave him a reason why.

He and Hiccup have been growing apart, most reluctantly on his part, and he just wanted that easy-going friendship that they had before all this happened. Or did he want more? Yeah, sure, Hiccup was cute. Adorable, actually; her green eyes were so expressive, and her auburn hair fell gracefully about her shoulders even though she did absolutely nothing to it, her freckles were on every living inch of her slender frame, and they just added to the cute-factor.

But why was he thinking of his best friend like this? Shouldn't he be thinking about Elsa, and all her good attributes? She was the number one most popular girl in the whole school, and she was beautiful! Every guy in school was envious that the two of them were a couple since day one. And almost every girl would be off daydreaming that it was them in Elsa's place. Though, that was back during his last year of middle school and freshman year of high school, and Jack didn't really think that he liked her all that much anymore. How did he even agree to go out with her in the first place?

The bell rang, and Jack unconsciously shuffled out of the room and got to his second class without seeing Elsa. He sighed, and plopped down into his chair.

"Well, Frost's a little down today," Someone teased, sitting down in the seat next to him. Helen sat there, pouting at him playfully. A sudden urge came over him to kiss her, but he just barely stopped himself.

"Whatever Hiccup," He dismissed, slouching in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. She laughed, and leaned over and started braiding a part of his spiky hair. The feeling of her breath on the shell of his ear made his breathing hitch, just a bit, but he endured it. The bell rang shrilly, signaling that start of the class, and she leaned back in her chair happily. Jack felt the back of his ear, only to find part of his hair braided tightly. He smiled at her, and she rolled her eyes.

* * *

The rest of the day passed with nothing else but boredom, and when the final bell rang, Jack basically sprinted home, ignoring almost everyone and anyone, including Hiccup or Elsa; he didn't need to be even more confused than he already was.

He started on his homework just as soon as he entered his empty house. His fingers worked deafly, writing down information and punching numbers into a calculator. North was still at work and Emma wasn't due to be home for a couple hours. And Jack had nothing to do.

He wandered down to the kitchen, fishing his phone out of his pocket and punching in a number and calling it before rummaging through the fridge for anything good to eat. The phone rang three times before it was picked up.

"Frost?" Helen questioned from the other end.

"Hey Hiccup, what's up?" Jack replied, checking a Tupperware owl to see what it contained.

"Nothing, just Pre-Cal. What are you doing?" Helen questioned, a little puzzled.

"Looking through the fridge. I need more food in my life," Jack said, laughing.

"Weren't you and Elsa going to. Uh, 'go to her place,' for a lack of a better term?" Hiccup questioned with uncertainty. Jack scoffed and rolled his eyes, even though he knew she couldn't see him.

"Please," He scoffed, "I'd rather get all my homework done. And North is going to this Town Hall thing, so he needs me to watch Emma tonight." He could hear Hiccup smack herself on the forehead.

"That's right! That's tonight, huh?" Helen questioned, laughing. "I don't even know and my dad's the mayor." Jack could see her rolling her eyes, the dork.

"That just shows how much of a dork you are," Jack teased, and Hiccup clicked her tongue at him.

"Whatever," She dismissed. "Everyone knows that you're a bigger dork than I am."

"Are you kidding me?" Jack almost yelled. "You're the biggest dork I know!"

"And you're the biggest dork I know!" Hiccup yelled back.

"Fine, we can be just really big dorks together," Jack said.

"But if I need a title, I want it to be my title, not something I have to share," Hiccup remarked with a sass tone clearly in her voice. "You can be Major Dork, and I can be Big Dork."

"That hardly seems fair," Jack said.

"I dunno, seems fair to me," Hiccup said, laughing. "I have to go, Pre-Cal's a bitch."

"Hey, that's an insult to bitches everywhere," Jack remarked laughing.

"Whatever," Hiccup commented, hanging up the phone. Or, so she thought.

Jack had a habit of not hanging up the phone until they heard that the other person had hung up first. It wasn't really a "you-hang-up, no-you-hang-up" type scenario with him, but he just liked to know that someone was already done with the conversation before he hung up, instead of hanging up on someone like a jerk. But, now, he didn't hear Hiccup hang up, so he kept his ear pressed to his phone, wondering what the heck was going on.

* * *

Helen tossed her phone on her bed next to her as she stood up and turned on her iPod. Music blared loudly, and she cringed before scrolling through her music library before she found the new song she downloaded the other day. She liked it because she could relate to it.

Helen didn't like Elsa. Strictly for the fact that she, Helen, liked Jack. There was nothing really wrong with the girl, but she didn't like the sight of anyone being with Jack other than herself. Call it being possessive or something, but Jack could do better, he really could. Helen really liked everything about Jack, but she would never tell him. Why would she risk a friendship over something as flimsy and ridiculous as an emotion? Crushes go away (not this one apparently, but she told herself that so she wouldn't have to face the fact that she was pining over her best friend).

The new song blared, and the music filled the room. It seemed like the kind of music people danced to, and Helen wouldn't have really listened to it, but she liked the song anyways.

The line, "Betta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye," was repeated a couple times, and Hiccup found herself singing along with the music.

"I-I, feel like I'm losing my mind, mind,

She crept into your life, life

And cut me up like a knife, knife. Yeah.

Hey, hey

Few things that I wanna say, aye

Still got my dignity-aye

No one will love you like me-e. Yeah

She's prettier than I'll ever be.

Got yourself a beauty queen, yeah

But there's one thing I gotta say

She can fuck you good,

But I can fuck you betta!

Betta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye

But I can fuck you betta

Betta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye

She can fuck you good

But I can fuck you-

That way,

Remember screaming' my name-ame

'Cause I can sex your brain-ain

But she don't do it that way-aye, no

Now, she's prettier than I'll ever be

Got yourself a beauty queen, yeah

But there's one thing I gotta say

She can fuck you good,

but I can fuck you betta

Etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye

Etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye

I can fuck you betta

Etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-etta-aye

She can fuck you good,

but I can fuck you better

I know she's perfect and worth it

I bet she's beautiful

But can she love you and touch you until you go oh?

You keep on trying' to hide it but we both know, oh-"*

Helen turned the song off dramatically, and flopped back onto her bed. Her hands covered her eyes and groaned.

"No, we both don't know," She said moodily. "Ugh, why am I such an idiot? Why do I even like Jack in the first place?" She sighed, then sat up and pushed her hair out of her face. She pulled her Pre-Cal book back into her lap and started working out a problem, until she needed her phone. She opened it, and went on her calculator.

* * *

Jack listened to the whole song, jaw dropped open in awe that Hiccup would listen to something like that, and that when she sang, her voice was filled with conviction. As Hiccup started talking, something about not knowing something and being an idiot, he was about to hang up.

"Why do I even like Jack in the first place?" She questioned. Jack's hear almost beat out of his chest, and he fumbled with his phone awkwardly before hanging up the call and throwing his phone across the room, where it landed on the couch.

Did he hear correctly?

* * *

The next day, Jack was still freaking out about the new revelation. Hiccup liked him? Did he like her back? He gave no second thought about Elsa, and waited for Hiccup in the hallway.

Both girls walked in, Helen first, then Elsa. Helen had her heard down and was walking quickly to her class, while Elsa had this confident stride. Jack saw nothing else but Hiccup, and he rushed down the hall to go meet her.

"Hey Hicca," Jack greeted, standing right in front of her.

"Oh hey, Frost," She said, pulling on a fake smile and looking up at him. Jack almost laughed out loud and didn't think about what he was going to say, it just slipped.

"So, could you really fuck me better?" He whispered questioningly, feigning an air of in-credulousness. Helen's eyes widened, her cheeks bloomed with the deepest shade of crimson, and her jaw dropped, but then she smirked, and laughed.

"If you think you could handle it, Frost," she replied. Just after she got the sentence out, Jack cupped her face quickly and kissed her.

Elsa gasped, who happened to be behind them as they kissed.

"Jack, what are you doing?!" She yelled, outraged. The two kissed for a little longer, neither of them wanting it to end, and Elsa tore Jack away from Helen.

"Oh, Elsa. Yeah, we're through," He informed mockingly sweet, as he grabbed Hiccup's hand and pulled her away. When they rounded the corner, Helen pulled Jack into another kiss, just as the bell rang.

"So, see you second period?" She breathed. Jack laughed, and cupped her face again, his thumb brushing over her cheek. Also wiping the tears that had mysteriously appeared from her eyes.

"Definitely," He answered, giving Helen a smile that assured her that he was hers and she was his. And Helen smiled back, knowing that she didn't have to worry about Elsa, or anyone for that matter, coming between them.

* * *

***Fuck You Betta By Neon Hitch**

**(I'm sorry for how I wrote Elsa, whoops) I hope you all liked it! Thanks for reading! Peace!**

**-HB**


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